vulnerability.

It has been almost two whole months since I relocated to the South and I would love to be able to tell everyone back at home that the transition has been super easy and that I have made a ton of friends here in Dallas, but I heard a sermon the other week where the pastor said that instead of acting like we have everything together so we’re able to help others, sometimes people just need us to be vulnerable and share our weaknesses and struggles with them. Sometimes just being open about our struggles with others is what actually resonates with them. And so I will share.

I like getting out of my comfort zone. I like going places where I don’t know anyone, because although it is scary, I really think you grow a lot from it. You experience things and meet people you wouldn’t otherwise experience or meet. This is one of the reasons why I went to Penn State. I didn’t know anyone there, and it was far enough away from home that I couldn’t just run back to my comfort zone every weekend. And this is also one of the reasons why moving to Dallas was appealing to me (and the fact that I got a job here…and it is clearly where God wants me now).

Back at school, they warned us about the “swamp” that almost all college grads venture into after graduation. It is basically the very difficult transitioning period between the academic world and the real world. But I had faith that I wouldn’t trudge along in the swamp, at least not for long. I felt blessed with an extroverted personality and a love for meeting new people. And to be honest, I didn’t really struggle with living in a “foreign” land by myself at all…until the summer ended and school started again.

It seemed like everyone else had continued on with their lives and I was still stuck in this “foreign” place all by myself. Those close to me seemed to be making new friends and handling the transition much better than I was. I prayed for God to help me be content where He had me and not long for what others seemed to have. And by the grace of God, He answered my prayers two days later! The heavy feelings of jealousy and discontentment were lifted. There’s really no other explanation except that God answered my prayers.

I realized that God actually stops and thinks about what each of our lives will look like, and He creates a personalized life plan for everyone. So even though someone else’s life might look more appealing to you, it is actually equal in weight to what’s going on in your life! Because it’s where God wants you. The people you’re surrounded by are the people you were supposed to meet, not who your friends were supposed to meet. And though it may sound cliche, God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.

So I realized that even though sometimes life isn’t easy, God thinks highly enough of you to put you in the position that you’re in now. My junior year, I really struggled with singleness. It seemed like everyone around me was dating, and it took me a while to fully be content with being single. Then senior year, I met Colin. So it’s funny to look back in retrospect and think about how God must’ve been laughing at me when I was struggling like, “Oh Sang, you don’t even know! I’ve already planned this out for you…and it’s only in a few months! Just cherish the time you have being single now and be patient.” And so I feel like that with my transition now. I might not have a ton of friends yet, but I’m recognizing that I’m in the in-between period before God provides a community for me, and all I have to do is trust Him and be patient. That’s not to say it is an easy time at all, but I am thankful to be able to have the perspective that God is molding and shaping me during this period. Because when we’re weak, He is strong.

So I feel very blessed to be lifted up out of the “swamp.” I’ve been praying for opportunities to make friends and God is just bringing people left and right into my life! The people I work with are all extremely nice, and the different churches and small groups I’ve been checking out are all very welcoming. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

And so I end with this song that I’ve been playing on repeat. My favorite part is at 4:45. It doesn’t matter where I am in this world or who I’m with, because I’ve finally found where I belong. Take delight in me, Lord.

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2 responses to “vulnerability.

  1. Love vulnerability. I’ve found that vulnerability breaks something in people (walls) and creates trust. Its a wonderful thing. People like relating to other raw humans. Love the song too. 🙂

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